The Theft-Proof MP3 Player is a music modern, portable music appliance that will never be stolen.
This is a combination of two utterly unwanted pieces of technology (AM/FM Radio; battered 3-year-old cell phone) with new internal hardware that renders them useful again, yet unstealable due to their appearance (including dents, tape residue and what may be food stains).
Functionally the two together operate as a 30gb remote-controlled MP3 player, capable of playing music back either through the built-in speaker or the output jack on the side of the radio. The phone connects to the radio via Bluetooth, and the keypad can be used to scroll through songs or albums, adjust the volume, randomize playback, etc.
Fittingly, this unit was used while on tour to feed music into the stock stereo of The Elixxxirs‘ 1994 Plymouth Voyager via a cassette adapter. So far it has never been stolen.